I really felt the need to tackle this topic because of all of the information out there that I consider to be misguided. As of right now, the most common solution to this phenomenon is to “freeze out” the girl. More specifically, when the girl starts to hesitate to sleep with you, you are instructed to turn cold, stop all physical contact, and do something else, possibly check your email.

This method was developed by Neil Strauss and is  so prevalent because it actually works. Now, I have more respect for Neil than probably anyone else in the pickup community and in no way mean to disrespect anything he’s ever done; mainly because I am not on the same level as he is.

Here’s the problem I find with it though: although it works, I can’t help but find it kind of creepy and just don’t feel comfortable doing it. 

So how do I handle last minute resistance? The answer is, I don’t, and if I ever encounter it I feel as though I simply didn’t do a good enough job before she got into my bed in the first place.

What you have to do is build up enough sexual tension so that when you enter your bedroom, there isn’t a question on either of your minds what will be happening.

So how do you do this? The biggest thing to do is keep the majority of your conversation with a woman sexual. The Secrets Game is one of my favorites for doing this. You simply introduce the game as the best way to get to know another person, and begin asking each other personal questions about each other; kind of like truth or dare without the dare. It’s impossible for this game not to be sexual.

You also have to be direct with your intentions. The “freeze out” method is a perfect example of why I tend to stay away from “indirect game” as much as possible. It almost seems like you’re tricking her to come home with you. In that case of course she’s going to resist when you’re making advances.

One of my favorite things to drop in conversations is: “I have to tell you a secret. I just had a dirty thought about you.” and then of course to tell he what said thought was until later in the conversation when I feel the need to “sex it up” again.

Now you don’t want to talk like a guy, i.e. “I want to fuck you right now”. Instead, you want to sound more subtly descriptive like a guy in some chick romance novel, i.e. “I want to rip your clothes off and kiss every inch of your body”.

Girls love to talk about sex, probably more than any other thing. If you show them you’re perfectly comfortable with the subject and not some dirty perv who never has any, then they’ll appreciate talking to you about it.

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The second half of this is making it clear that you’re the one who makes the decision . The whole idea of last minute resistance carries with it the frame that she is making the decision on whether or not you are having sex. This is flawed from the very get go. 

I’ll always say something like: “You can come sleep at my place, but don’t try any funny business.” The 5 date rule is another one of my favorites. I’ll tell her “I won’t sleep with a girl until the 5th date”. This is gold. See how many guys are telling her this.

Back at my place, I’ll advance a little, then tell her to slow down. This usually isn’t hard since by this point she’s doing more than her fair share of advancing. You have to get it to the point where you’re trying to stop everything from happening, but you just couldn’t help it any more because there was so much sexual magic in the air. Then afterward of course blame her for making you break your 5 date rule.

When she’s charged full of sexual energy and you’re telling her no, see how many times you’ll run into any last minute resistance as she tears your clothes off. 

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Let’s start with some fun openers:

First, here’s a basic one that I’ve used with some great success. I’m sure that this one or a close variant of it has been brought up before but, eh… whatever. You and your friend are discussing something and need some outside help, so of course you go to the large group of attractive girls to get it. The question, what is hotter, boxers or boxer briefs?

Certainly didn’t take a genius to some up with that and I’m not expecting anyone to be blown away. But this works for a couple reasons. First of all, you can rule out briefs altogether as most women (for the time being) aren’t really into them. Second of all, I’ve found that women are truly torn on this , and 99% of the time you will create good discussion within the group of girls on the topic… kind of like Sex in the City.

Next, I got this one from my wing and it works wonderfully for large groups of girls, usually 5 or more. He simply goes up to the group sitting at a table, kind of lean on the table without saying much, make eye contact so they that are all thinking, ‘who the hell is this guy and what is he doing here’, and then delivers, “so which one of you is getting married?” After they show a bit of confusion he continues, “with all of you girls out together I figured it must be a bachelorette party or something”. Girls laugh, open up. Simple.

Finally, the no talking opener. I was walking to the bathroom and make eye contact with an attractive blonde. I give her a pursed lip look like I’m suspicious of her, then form a slight smirk on my face. At this point she grabs me and starts making out with me right in the middle of the bar.

Now, I use the “no talking opener” to highlight a point because frankly, that’s not going to get the same results consistently, not even for me.  The point is that it really doesn’t matter what opener you use if your body language and tone of voice aren’t on par. As I’m sure most of you have heard, non-verbal communication is 93% of our communication. 93 f-ing %. That means that what you say matters little compared to how you say it.

The last point I want to make is that you have to be genuinely interested in what you’re talking about. Approaching a girl with a topic that you’re genuinely interested greatly affects your non-verbals compared to using a canned line you read on a website. The boxers/boxer briefs line was so effective because my friend and I were just discussing it so we came off as being genuinely interested in their answer. A student asked me how many days he should wait to call a girl. I told him to ask the experts and he had staggering results with the women he asked.

The vast majority of openers I use are spontaneous things that just happen to be mind at the time or something obvious that I infer about them or the environment that I want to talk about. Don’t be the guy sitting around talking about beautiful girls at the bar. Those guys never go home with those girls. Instead be the guy talking about something fun and interesting that will appeal to those women.

 

Whew. The week was much more hectic than I ever anticipated and after sleeping for about 12 hours last night it’s officially great to be home.

I want to take a quick second to say thank you for all of you for your kind/encouraging comments and emails. I didn’t expect this level of  reaction at all and it is truly appreciated.

Time to throw down some posts that have been building up over this past week… 

Just writing to let everyone know that I will be out of town until next weekend and won’t be updating with any new posts.

The good news is that I’ll be sure to return with a slew of very fresh stuff to post and in the meantime, I created a “best of” roll in the sidebar so you can check out anything you may have missed. I was debating on whether to base the list on hotness of girls pictured or actual content and finally settled on content. (Apologies to some)

 I’ll also try to check my email as much as possible so still feel free to shoot me any questions or comments.

So be that guy, be the center of everything that’s happening, and go out there and catch that beautiful butterfly. 

Have a great week!

It’s good to be the guy who knows everyone. Good to be that guy who walks into a place and seems to own it. One guy who is always good to know is the bartender. When you walk up to a crowded bar and get your drinks immediately and chat with the guy serving them it’s much easier to open a conversation with the cute girl who is still waiting.

So how do you establish this type of rapport with such a prestigious person? As a former bartender I have some words to share on getting in good with the man who will help you be that much more VIP, and thus that much more attractive to the opposite sex.

The best way to become a familiar face is to pick out whichever bar you want to be known at and start frequenting it during the less than busy times. Go in on a weekday when you’d be one of the only people at the bar and start doing this regularly.

Start with some small talk and also when he or she asks you what you want, ask what their specialty is. Bartenders love it when you treat them like an expert.

It’s also good to have a regular drink. Often, he won’t remember your name but he will remember your face and if you have a drink tied to that face even better. Plus, when it’s busy, you’ll often get a drink handed to you without even asking.

On those slow days, introduce yourself to the bartender, and remember his name. Saying, “Hey Jimmy, good to see you again” goes a long way. Of course tipping well goes without saying.

Another thing bartenders love is that when the bar is busy and someone orders something, just say, “can you make that two?” It’s easy to make a 2nd of something if he’s already making 1 and the fact that you’re saving him an extra trip to the well will be appreciated.

One more thing, if you order a round of shots, always ask the bartender if he/she wants one. A little consideration goes a long way. 

Women have very keen social senses and are fully aware of who knows who. Plus, don’t be surprised if you get a free drink every now and again as well. 

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Here are some more articles from around the web that will improve your game.

 The Asian Rake is just an incredible fount of wisdom. Here is an awesome article on projecting a sexual vibe so you don’t get stuck in the “friend zone”. 

Sarge Nation links this article from The Reality Method. It’s a pretty entertaining pump-up article that I enjoyed reading.

Finally, the boys at Grow Your Game give us this article that reinforces the power of positive thinking.

Read and enjoy!

 
Mark Redman from The Truth About College Game just completed his book.

 If you’re in college or simply want to date college girls then it is a must read.

 Here is an interview I did with Mark and Christian Hudson after reading a near-completed draft of the book. The link also shows you where you can pick up a copy.