I’ve gotten some emails lately about non-verbal openers so I thought it’d be a perfect time to share my favorite opener: the eye contact opener. Sounds simple I know, however its effectiveness is astounding.
It all starts out with your confidence and body language. You have to be beaming confidence, standing up straight, moving as if you’re not in any hurry at all, and possess a smirk on your face like you know something no one else does (credit: David D). More importantly, you must strive to make eye contact with everyone you’re moving past.
Once you are doing this consistently and naturally, you will be amazed at how many people return the contact and hold it. Now you don’t want to be creepy, so here’s what I do. If it’s a guy, give him a nod and move on (unless that’s who you’re looking to attract of course). Now, if it’s a woman I’m attracted to, I’ll do one of two things:
1. Shift from my smirk to a somewhat puzzled look. It’s the look you get on your face when you either recognize the person from somewhere but can’t remember where or the look you have when you wonder why someone’s staring at you. I then simply walk up to her while holding this look and say either, “wait, where do we know each other from?”, or “I’m sorry, you looked exactly like a friend of mine”, or “do we know each other?”. Then conversation starts as normal.
Easy as pie.
2. If I’m in a playful mood I’ll shift from my smirk to a scowl, like I’m playfully mad at her. 9 times out of 10 she’ll return that scowl. I’ll respond with a laugh and go talk to her as she’s won me over with her fun playfulness. Maybe I even mouth an, “I love you” before I go for fun, depending on what I feel like.
If I could only survive on one opener for the rest of my life this would be the one. As long as your vibe and energy are on it’s easy.