The authors of honeyandlance.com (I’ll let you guess their names) came up with the great idea of organizing a blogger roundtable to discuss what men and women can do to make themselves as attractive as possible and have asked me for my opinion on the matter.
One thing I wouldn’t be surprised of in the least is if some of the same points of advice are made by more than one of us. If this happens, then you know it’s good info and is worth implementing into your life asap. I’ll keep this post updated with the other bloggers’ work on the issue so we can all have the most comprehensive look at the question possible.
So without further adu:
For the guys:
1. Don’t take your looks lightly. Not every guy is born with the looks of Brad Pitt, but that really doesn’t matter. Think about all of the work women put into looking their best. That means that they notice little things about you that other guys would never notice. Natural good looks doesn’t matter nearly as much as how you take care of yourself and maximizing what you have to work with.
2. Confidence confidence confidence. Beating a dead horse? Yes. But only because its importance can never be written about enough. If you don’t have it yet, fake it until you have it. You can’t control how confident you are, but you can control how confident you appear. Stand up straight. Don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. Speak and move almost as if in slow motion. And eye-mother f-ing contact!!!
3. Be as interesting a person as possible. What do you do? “Oh… well I’m an engineer who tries to pick up women in his spare time”. Show me a woman who is attractive to that guy and I’ll show you desperation. Hell, would you even want to hang out with yourself? Get out there and to things that you’re interested in. Telling a woman about your recent trip to Spain or that time you bombed trying stand-up comedy is far more attractive than listing your hobbies as “drinking with friends”.
4. Presence at the bar. When you walk in a place, are you the guy who is scanning all over the bar for something fun? For interesting people? Or are you the most interesting person in the place with the most fun happening right in front of you? Stop being the creepy scanner and start making the most fun happen right in front of you. If you want to start a convo with someone, don’t walk across the place to engage them. Happen to notice them over your shoulder while you’re engaged with friends or on your way to the bathroom.
5. Stop watching tv. Sorry if I scare some of you off with that. The thing is that television lets us put our minds on auto-pilot by feeding us entertainment. When you’re conversing with someone, you want to witty, fun, creative, and spontaneous… and watching television doesn’t exercise our brains to do any of that. Instead, read a book, go for a walk, talk to as many people as you possibly can. Just be ready when all of a sudden you’re the one keeping a girl on her toes in a conversation.
For the ladies:
First off, it’s easy for a girl to get a guy if she wants. As long as she has a pulse (sometimes not required) then she will be able to find some guy interested in her. Shit, if she’s attractive, she’ll have guys lining up.
Here’s the problem with that though. Most girls don’t want to settle for any guy that any woman can have. They want a guy who’s more of a challenge and that actually is selective to select them. Sorry to burst some of your bubbles, but if you want a guy who isn’t a douche, it’ll take a lot more than your looks. Read on:
1. As mentioned, most guys will fall for looks, but if you actually want a guy worth having, then your energy and outlook on life are 10 times more important. Don’t be one of those girls who bitches and whines all the time just because most guys will put up with it because of your beauty. Any man of value will get tired of it very quickly.
2. Be fun! Nothing attracts me more than a girl that I have an amazing time with. Another pitfall of being beautiful is that it often creates blah personalities as most guys will want to hang out with you regardless. If you want those guys, fine, but if you want more, then be exciting.
3. Confidence, confidence, confidence. This is a 2 way street. I’ve heard models talk about how they were too fat or not beautiful enough and it’s the most unattractive thing in the world. Once again, if you don’t have it, fake it until you do. Watch how you talk about yourself, in your head or aloud. I’ll take a 7 who is comfortable with herself over a 9 who’s not any day
4. Be a nice person. I’m not saying that you have to run a non-profit and adopt 4 children from developing countries, but just treat people with respect and kindness. We all know those girls who talk down to other people or talk mad shit about other girls behind their back. Are you one of those girls? If so, Ms. Cleo sees douchbags in your future.
5. Give me shit. I know a girl who’s not afraid to tease me and put me in my place if need be and I absolutely love it. Act like we’ve known each other for years and it will feel like we have. This is one of the biggest things a girl can do to immediately grab my attention and make me wonder who the hell she is.
There you go. Here’s some of the other bloggers’ responses thus far. I’ll update the list as the rest of them pop out. The goal is to have them all up by Friday.
Honey’s got some great stuff that is applicable for both men and women here.
Lance follows suit with a guy’s perspective.
The Hot Alpha Female has a great unique perspective on the topic. She’s the kind of woman who would make me think about dropping the harem.
Monica over at Twenty Set started this discussion with this post for women and followed up with an equally informative post for guys here.
More to come!